So much for blog planning (I think I've just created the newest catch phrase!). There I was on Wednesday with my next entry all planned out. I step out of the office for 10 minutes to run errands, come back and my whole world is askew. First, Jessica and Nick are splitting up. Not that I care but it just proves my theory that tabloids are ALWAYS right about gossip, they're just ahead of the curve. Everything they say comes true eventually, which is why I am now going to subscribe to the National Enquirer. Why sift through the crap sections of other papers when I can go straight to the good stuff.
And THEN, Tom and Katie are having a freaking baby. Sooo weird. Maybe I've been watching LOST too long, but my theory on them is that she's not pregnant, it's all a ruse to make you think he has actually had sex with a woman since his first (and I'm guessing last) stab at heterosexuality. Come on Tom! You know it, I know it, coma patients know it. You're gay! Just own it already, yeesh. Come out on Letterman, make the obligatory cameo on Will & Grace and have at it. But if I have to sit through a year of pretense and posturing that he's been anywhere near a woman's reproductive system lately, there's no way in hell I'm going to see Mission Impossible 3. Unless Felicity is also starring in it. Or J.J. Abrams, Alias and LOST genius, is directing it. Damnit Cruise. You've won again. But seriously, step out of the Marc Jacobs heels and venture out of the closet. I betcha people will be distracted enough from the crazy scientology stuff to love you again. At least for a little while.
In other fascinating news, I moved yesterday! To a fabulous 2 bedroom apartment with deaf scheduler and all-around fun girl Shannon. I mean, she's not deaf, she schedules for deaf people. Or hearing-impaired??? Moving on...
My arms feel like they're going to fall off but I predict once everything is unpacked it'll be like paradise. With a balcony! And once everything's all neat and pretty I'll take pictures and put them up. Because I know you're dying to see them, right? Right!
And THEN, Tom and Katie are having a freaking baby. Sooo weird. Maybe I've been watching LOST too long, but my theory on them is that she's not pregnant, it's all a ruse to make you think he has actually had sex with a woman since his first (and I'm guessing last) stab at heterosexuality. Come on Tom! You know it, I know it, coma patients know it. You're gay! Just own it already, yeesh. Come out on Letterman, make the obligatory cameo on Will & Grace and have at it. But if I have to sit through a year of pretense and posturing that he's been anywhere near a woman's reproductive system lately, there's no way in hell I'm going to see Mission Impossible 3. Unless Felicity is also starring in it. Or J.J. Abrams, Alias and LOST genius, is directing it. Damnit Cruise. You've won again. But seriously, step out of the Marc Jacobs heels and venture out of the closet. I betcha people will be distracted enough from the crazy scientology stuff to love you again. At least for a little while.
In other fascinating news, I moved yesterday! To a fabulous 2 bedroom apartment with deaf scheduler and all-around fun girl Shannon. I mean, she's not deaf, she schedules for deaf people. Or hearing-impaired??? Moving on...
My arms feel like they're going to fall off but I predict once everything is unpacked it'll be like paradise. With a balcony! And once everything's all neat and pretty I'll take pictures and put them up. Because I know you're dying to see them, right? Right!
posted by staca at
4:21 PM
1 Comments:
I think Tom might fare all right in the public consciousness if he came out of the closet -- but I don't know if Scientology allows for gayness. They might boot Tom out if he were to come out. But if gayness was all right with the Scientologists, than he maybe ought to do it. But... on the other hand. Maybe he shouldn't. America might not forgive Tom for his litany of "marriages" to straight beautiful women. They might, in turn, not forgive those lying actresses who agreed to be Tom's beards in exchange for the increased notoriety close proximity to him provides. That he lied for so long to everyone, they might turn on him really hard, harder than they did after the couch jumping incident. Now I don't know anymore. Thanks for muddying the waters.
By
Miller Sturtevant, at 1:13 PM
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