"Hey, we should do this 10K run! It'll be fun and good motivation for working out." -- Josie circa June 2004
This seemingly harmless idea developed into one of the more embarassing mornings I've experienced (apologies in advance for the long blog).
It all started in June of 2004. Anne-Marie was recently engaged and the three of us were looking for a good way to spend a weekend together and start to get in shape for the wedding. The excruciatingly well-intentioned Josie discovered a 10K race that would be run in DC in late September-perfect right? It would give us 3 months to "train" and it was the perfect location for people living in NC, DC and NY (mostly perfect for me but that's neither here nor there).
Based on how the three of us got through college, we should have known how it would turn out but somehow the euphoria of prolonged exercise blinded us to our essential natures. Basically, as we were all forced to rely on our own willpower, Anne-Marie was really diligent and trained constantly and gradually worked herself up to running several miles at a time while Josie and I....not so much. I can't speak for Josie but I would estimate my dedication at approximately, oh, half-assed. Perhaps 58%-assed. I'm not great with percentages.
Editor's note: The advertisement for the race called it a "run/walk"--keep that in mind as the story progresses (lying bastards)
So, the day of the race comes-we're up early, eating our power bars. We even have matching t-shirts for christ's sake! We should finish this thing in our sleep, right? Not so fast, sport.
The race runs along Pennsylvania Avenue in downtown DC, heading towards the Capitol, then looping up towards the Senate Office Buildings and back down Penn Ave (that's 5K-to do the 10K you just run the course twice). There's a fair sized crowd, 163 to be exact, waiting to start the 10K and the last thing I remember us talking about is telling AM not to wait around for us to keep up. Little did we know that would be the best advice we ever gave. The starter gun goes off and I actually manage to run the entire 5K without stopping or walking, however after the first mile I realized there were very few people behind me but I just pushed that to the back of my brain. Plus I figured it's a walk/run-I can walk a little bit, yes? Yes? Nnn..nn.no? Ok.
After finishing the 5K, Josie catches up to me and we have both had it and start walking. At this point, there is NOBODY behind us but again, we just think we're really dedicated for continuing to finish and not stopping after the 5K. Also, after about the first mile of the second lap, we see AM heading back towards the finish line. We totally should have just snuck behind her and pretended to finish.
So we're walking, briskly, up towards the Senate buildings, which is about 3/5 of the way finished with the second lap, when one of the race volunteers says "ladies, we're going to have to ask you to step on the sidewalk. We're opening up the roads to traffic." Yeah, that's right. Picture it...picture it. It was even better in person. Well, at this point we slow our brisk walk to a stroll since we have to keep it to the sidewalk. As we're rounding the corner onto Penn Ave, AM is making her way back to try and find us and stops to ask some more volunteers if they've seen two girls still finishing the race. They say "the ones in the matching shirts? Yeah, they're just up there."
We shamefacedly head towards the race headquarters, once a massive setup that covered 3 blocks that by this time was reduced to three people and a desk. As we're heading towards the race officials (to hand in our numbers for proof that we finished!), I notice an older woman walking in the same direction, probably a minute or two ahead of us. Completely not making the connection, I don't speed up or try to trip her. I just figured she was out for a morning stroll. As I see her hand her number to the officials, the horror sets in. We have just been beaten by someone's grandmother. It was right about here that I decided to hand my number in before Josie could so that I wouldn't be last. Very immature I know, but I WASN'T LAST. Suckers.
Oh and the other great line was, as we handed in our numbers, one volunteer says to the other "I heard there were two more out there." As if we were making our way in from the slopes of Everest. We muttered a quick "yeah, that's us" and got the hell out of there. Even though the two of us walked half of it, we were damn tired and went back to my house and ordered Chinese food and took naps for the rest of the day. Good times.
To sum up this rather long but, hopefully, enjoyable story, AM was a running demon and Josie and I...finished. But I wouldn't trade having this story to tell for anything. Well, maybe a Marc Jacobs purse. A blue one. Hint.
P.S. Here's the proof: http://www.dcroadrunners.org/results04/pennmi.htm Way to go number 118! And yes, the age of the woman who beat Josie and me is 64. What of it?
This seemingly harmless idea developed into one of the more embarassing mornings I've experienced (apologies in advance for the long blog).
It all started in June of 2004. Anne-Marie was recently engaged and the three of us were looking for a good way to spend a weekend together and start to get in shape for the wedding. The excruciatingly well-intentioned Josie discovered a 10K race that would be run in DC in late September-perfect right? It would give us 3 months to "train" and it was the perfect location for people living in NC, DC and NY (mostly perfect for me but that's neither here nor there).
Based on how the three of us got through college, we should have known how it would turn out but somehow the euphoria of prolonged exercise blinded us to our essential natures. Basically, as we were all forced to rely on our own willpower, Anne-Marie was really diligent and trained constantly and gradually worked herself up to running several miles at a time while Josie and I....not so much. I can't speak for Josie but I would estimate my dedication at approximately, oh, half-assed. Perhaps 58%-assed. I'm not great with percentages.
Editor's note: The advertisement for the race called it a "run/walk"--keep that in mind as the story progresses (lying bastards)
So, the day of the race comes-we're up early, eating our power bars. We even have matching t-shirts for christ's sake! We should finish this thing in our sleep, right? Not so fast, sport.
The race runs along Pennsylvania Avenue in downtown DC, heading towards the Capitol, then looping up towards the Senate Office Buildings and back down Penn Ave (that's 5K-to do the 10K you just run the course twice). There's a fair sized crowd, 163 to be exact, waiting to start the 10K and the last thing I remember us talking about is telling AM not to wait around for us to keep up. Little did we know that would be the best advice we ever gave. The starter gun goes off and I actually manage to run the entire 5K without stopping or walking, however after the first mile I realized there were very few people behind me but I just pushed that to the back of my brain. Plus I figured it's a walk/run-I can walk a little bit, yes? Yes? Nnn..nn.no? Ok.
After finishing the 5K, Josie catches up to me and we have both had it and start walking. At this point, there is NOBODY behind us but again, we just think we're really dedicated for continuing to finish and not stopping after the 5K. Also, after about the first mile of the second lap, we see AM heading back towards the finish line. We totally should have just snuck behind her and pretended to finish.
So we're walking, briskly, up towards the Senate buildings, which is about 3/5 of the way finished with the second lap, when one of the race volunteers says "ladies, we're going to have to ask you to step on the sidewalk. We're opening up the roads to traffic." Yeah, that's right. Picture it...picture it. It was even better in person. Well, at this point we slow our brisk walk to a stroll since we have to keep it to the sidewalk. As we're rounding the corner onto Penn Ave, AM is making her way back to try and find us and stops to ask some more volunteers if they've seen two girls still finishing the race. They say "the ones in the matching shirts? Yeah, they're just up there."
We shamefacedly head towards the race headquarters, once a massive setup that covered 3 blocks that by this time was reduced to three people and a desk. As we're heading towards the race officials (to hand in our numbers for proof that we finished!), I notice an older woman walking in the same direction, probably a minute or two ahead of us. Completely not making the connection, I don't speed up or try to trip her. I just figured she was out for a morning stroll. As I see her hand her number to the officials, the horror sets in. We have just been beaten by someone's grandmother. It was right about here that I decided to hand my number in before Josie could so that I wouldn't be last. Very immature I know, but I WASN'T LAST. Suckers.
Oh and the other great line was, as we handed in our numbers, one volunteer says to the other "I heard there were two more out there." As if we were making our way in from the slopes of Everest. We muttered a quick "yeah, that's us" and got the hell out of there. Even though the two of us walked half of it, we were damn tired and went back to my house and ordered Chinese food and took naps for the rest of the day. Good times.
To sum up this rather long but, hopefully, enjoyable story, AM was a running demon and Josie and I...finished. But I wouldn't trade having this story to tell for anything. Well, maybe a Marc Jacobs purse. A blue one. Hint.
P.S. Here's the proof: http://www.dcroadrunners.org/results04/pennmi.htm Way to go number 118! And yes, the age of the woman who beat Josie and me is 64. What of it?
7 Comments:
.If you are bored to tears you can always see my Trojan kind of site if you like Trojan stuff....
By
Anonymous, at 6:25 PM
I know that aside from ads, I may be the only person who posts up on here, but so what -- the story's frickin hilarious. I was a laughin'. You guys were dead last! And the fact that you have proof is the killer punchline. I didn't really believe you were last until I clicked on the link and there you guys were: totally last-place finishers. Very funny stuff.
By
Miller Sturtevant, at 1:22 AM
You lost at something. I'm so surprised. Kidding I love you.
By
Anonymous, at 4:59 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
Shannon, at 4:33 PM
My favorite part of the story: When you elbowed your best friend to make sure you weren't dead last and she was.
My least favorite part of the story:
The part where I wasn't in it at all.
Money Shot: When a grandma kicked your ass.
GO OLD PEOPLE!
By
Shannon, at 4:36 PM
Can you give me some more blog?!
By
Shannon, at 12:31 PM
Yeah, getting restless. Need more blog.
By
Miller Sturtevant, at 9:17 PM
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