"Hey, we should do this 10K run! It'll be fun and good motivation for working out." -- Josie circa June 2004

This seemingly harmless idea developed into one of the more embarassing mornings I've experienced (apologies in advance for the long blog).

It all started in June of 2004. Anne-Marie was recently engaged and the three of us were looking for a good way to spend a weekend together and start to get in shape for the wedding. The excruciatingly well-intentioned Josie discovered a 10K race that would be run in DC in late September-perfect right? It would give us 3 months to "train" and it was the perfect location for people living in NC, DC and NY (mostly perfect for me but that's neither here nor there).

Based on how the three of us got through college, we should have known how it would turn out but somehow the euphoria of prolonged exercise blinded us to our essential natures. Basically, as we were all forced to rely on our own willpower, Anne-Marie was really diligent and trained constantly and gradually worked herself up to running several miles at a time while Josie and I....not so much. I can't speak for Josie but I would estimate my dedication at approximately, oh, half-assed. Perhaps 58%-assed. I'm not great with percentages.

Editor's note: The advertisement for the race called it a "run/walk"--keep that in mind as the story progresses (lying bastards)

So, the day of the race comes-we're up early, eating our power bars. We even have matching t-shirts for christ's sake! We should finish this thing in our sleep, right? Not so fast, sport.

The race runs along Pennsylvania Avenue in downtown DC, heading towards the Capitol, then looping up towards the Senate Office Buildings and back down Penn Ave (that's 5K-to do the 10K you just run the course twice). There's a fair sized crowd, 163 to be exact, waiting to start the 10K and the last thing I remember us talking about is telling AM not to wait around for us to keep up. Little did we know that would be the best advice we ever gave. The starter gun goes off and I actually manage to run the entire 5K without stopping or walking, however after the first mile I realized there were very few people behind me but I just pushed that to the back of my brain. Plus I figured it's a walk/run-I can walk a little bit, yes? Yes? Nnn..nn.no? Ok.

After finishing the 5K, Josie catches up to me and we have both had it and start walking. At this point, there is NOBODY behind us but again, we just think we're really dedicated for continuing to finish and not stopping after the 5K. Also, after about the first mile of the second lap, we see AM heading back towards the finish line. We totally should have just snuck behind her and pretended to finish.

So we're walking, briskly, up towards the Senate buildings, which is about 3/5 of the way finished with the second lap, when one of the race volunteers says "ladies, we're going to have to ask you to step on the sidewalk. We're opening up the roads to traffic." Yeah, that's right. Picture it...picture it. It was even better in person. Well, at this point we slow our brisk walk to a stroll since we have to keep it to the sidewalk. As we're rounding the corner onto Penn Ave, AM is making her way back to try and find us and stops to ask some more volunteers if they've seen two girls still finishing the race. They say "the ones in the matching shirts? Yeah, they're just up there."

We shamefacedly head towards the race headquarters, once a massive setup that covered 3 blocks that by this time was reduced to three people and a desk. As we're heading towards the race officials (to hand in our numbers for proof that we finished!), I notice an older woman walking in the same direction, probably a minute or two ahead of us. Completely not making the connection, I don't speed up or try to trip her. I just figured she was out for a morning stroll. As I see her hand her number to the officials, the horror sets in. We have just been beaten by someone's grandmother. It was right about here that I decided to hand my number in before Josie could so that I wouldn't be last. Very immature I know, but I WASN'T LAST. Suckers.

Oh and the other great line was, as we handed in our numbers, one volunteer says to the other "I heard there were two more out there." As if we were making our way in from the slopes of Everest. We muttered a quick "yeah, that's us" and got the hell out of there. Even though the two of us walked half of it, we were damn tired and went back to my house and ordered Chinese food and took naps for the rest of the day. Good times.

To sum up this rather long but, hopefully, enjoyable story, AM was a running demon and Josie and I...finished. But I wouldn't trade having this story to tell for anything. Well, maybe a Marc Jacobs purse. A blue one. Hint.

P.S. Here's the proof: http://www.dcroadrunners.org/results04/pennmi.htm Way to go number 118! And yes, the age of the woman who beat Josie and me is 64. What of it?

I was THIS close (picture my fingers an inch apart) to getting a cat last weekend. I really shouldn't be allowed anywhere near adoptable animals in this condition. What condition you ask? A big old sap. That's what I am. Fortunately my mom talked me off the ledge which is probably a good thing right now. I mean, it took me almost two weeks to update my blog. If I can't add a new paragraph every few days, why would I think I'd remember to feed another living being. And yes, don't even get me started on the prospect of having kids. Besides, if Shannon and I room together I'll have two cats to play with. Of course Shannon would be taking care of all the fees and litter changing duties.

For now, I prefer to treat this blog as my little baby. I'm going to nourish it with little nuggets of wisdom and funny anecdotes (what? I'm funny!) and protect it from the evil junk mail ne'er-do-wells who may try and invade it. Until LOST premieres. Then I'll be busy.

To continue on the metro theme of the last blog, the greatest thing happened yesterday. The car I was on was mostly full but there were two sets of empty seats available and this guy comes on the train, looks around and sits next to another guy who was sitting in the outer aisle seat clearly trying to discourage anyone from sitting next to him. It was like my fondest public transportation wish come true. And to make it even flippin sweeter, the guy in the outside seat kept giving the other guy these annoyed looks. I was just waiting for a Springer episode to unfold but sadly my stop came and I left. But I think I'll always remember it as the day someone else did the assertive thing I always wanted to do (don't worry, I'm starting therapy immediately).

Ok, enough about that-on to the good stuff. I'm completely overwhelmed but in a happy way by the new tv schedule. It's like my very own viewing smorgasbord, although let's face it, a real smorgasbord is always better (mmmm breakfast pastries). In honor of my favorite comedy, Arrested Development, premiering last night, I invite you to "taste the happy" and visit www.imoscar.com. It's freaking hilarious, and more so if you actually watch the show.

Finally, I don't care if you have clear skin or you want me to look at your porn site. Stop making me happy to see comments on my blog and finding out you're just junk mail. I'm warning you. No I don't have any force to back up that threat but I will someday and then you'll be sorry.

Allright Erica, I'm done blogging now. You can relax! What? No I'm not doing this from work. Whatever gave you that idea? Pay no attention to the time this was posted. That's all Central time.

I guess a holiday weekend really screws up my blogging routine. I had no idea I have an adoring public. By 'adoring' I mean 'tolerating' and by 'public' I mean 4 people.

So I'm walking to the metro yesterday, listening to my walkman (no I don't have an ipod yet-if anyone wants to donate $200 I'll send you my address) and one of the stations is playing "Careless Whisper" by one Mr. George Michael. The fascinating thing is the song lasted my entire walk out of the building, to the metro and into the station where I lost the signal. That's a good 5-6 minute walk. Who knew that song was so long?? And yes, the really relevant question is why did you listen to the song for the entire walk? And that, my friends, is an answer I cannot give you. It'll remain one of life's great mysteries. I guess the dulcet stylings of G.M. were just too much for me to resist.

The really weird thing is while I was driving, not two hours later, it came on again on another station. What is with the soft rock DJs in the DC area? Maybe they're trying to recapture the glory of the pre-public-bathroom-cavorting-George Michael.

Having mentioned the metro, let me just mention a few annoyances to my fellow public transportation customers. One-stop pushing me out of the way to get a seat. One of these days I will snap and body slam you. Two-if you move from your seat to a pair of empty seats at a busy station, you are an idiot. Someone will sit next to you and you just wasted your time. Three-if you fall asleep and your head starts bobbing, I will laugh at you.