I think I entered some bizarro alternate universe earlier this week. I was flipping through the channels (naturally) and stopped on CNN for a minute because there was someone from the Humane Society on Larry King Live. The shot was focused on the guest and offscreen you could hear the host ask his next question. I thought "that doesn't sound like Larry King" but I couldn't figure out who it was. Next thing you know, they pan over to the guest host and it's none other than Ryan freaking Seacrest. Frosted tips and all. In what dimension does it seem reasonable that Ryan Seacrest is hosting Larry King Live. Not that I am any fan of LK but at least he has those awesome glasses.

In other news, I'm a big loser-twice over. Stop agreeing with that statement before you hear the entire story and let me explain. Erica and I decided to put up a few lights in our cubicles in honor of Santa/the Hanukkah Armadillo. We noticed our friends down the hall in Development had a few decorations as well. Not content to let everyone just have fun, I goaded them into turning our decorating into a contest and so began the first, and probably last, LCV Holiday Cubicle Decorating Contest-or LCVHCDC (we're working on the acronym). With limited monetary resources but lots of time, we came up with the following:
















































































Gaudy? The hell you say. While the perfectly symmetrical tree and cozy fireplace are my works of art, the plastic window was all Erica's genius. And yet somehow we lost. I know, I'm shocked too! Somehow I'll just have to console myself while IN ROME! Take that suckers. (Those of you who know me well will realize my obnoxious bravado is just a shield covering up my pain. My inner child is really crying inside)

Unless something terribly interesting happens between now and tomorrow evening, this may very well be the last blog of 2005 and to this past year I say "good riddance!" Honestly, between hurricanes, earthquakes, mass genocide, and Ashlee Simpson I don't know that I could have taken much more of it.

Greece-Part 2 (Does anybody still care??)

I've decided to do away with the labeling of days. Why should I be tied down to some rigid, formal method of storytelling when stream-of-consciousness writing is so much more interesting. Plus I can't remember that much detail anymore. What can I say, it's been two weeks. My mind is mush. So what follows are the highlights of the rest of the trip.

Warning: The following story is not suitable for those under 17.
One day on the way back from Syntagma Square, the three of us were cutting through the National Gardens on the way back to AM's place. If you've been reading AM's blog, you know the Greeks seem to have a penchant for public weirdness and this was our first glimpse. We were walking next to the racewalkers' track (a whole other subset of weirdness) as well as a bunch of benches spaced maybe 15 feet apart. Oh, I should probably use the metric system. I meant 5 yards. Anywho, we see this old couple on one of the benches we're nearing and it seemed harmless enough. The man was kind of nuzzling the woman's face and vice versa. We think, "oh how sweet, an older couple still in love." Think again people. As we pass them, the first thing I see is the woman's bare leg. Wait, let me amend that to say bare thigh. Her calf was firmly encased in a knee-high stocking. The man's hand is much farther north than the rules of public decency would allow and it was at about this point that the three of us began our silent retching. I mean, for god's sake-you're in the middle of the National Gardens in FULL DAYLIGHT. Let's save that kind of behavior for after dark. And, I don't know if I mentioned this before but THEY WERE OLD!! I don't mean 40, 50,60-old. I'm talking 70,80,nearing death-old. And yet somehow none of us could look away. I had managed to block out the image until now but just thinking about it sends me into a cold sweat. I think a little piece of me died that day.

Moving on. Anne-Marie and Josie cooked a fabulous Thanksgiving meal on Thursday and I helped in the baking process. Who knew butternut squash pie was just as good as pumpkin? I even put aside my feelings on fruit as a dessert (a whole other blog) to make an apple crisp that was surprisingly delicious. The rest of the time we pretty much walked around Athens, did some window shopping and met adorable dogs who may or may not be bilingual.

Before I finish this entry I have two more things of import to share with you. First of all, those of you worried about my imminent eternal damnation (Mom) will be happy to know I've renounced my agnosticism because only an omniscient being such as the lord could come up with a creation as scrumptious as the Cheese Pie. Layers of flaky, buttery filo dough filled with every cheese you could imagine. I was in complete heaven. The Cheese Pie is now my proof that god does exist and Everest, the ubiquitous fast food chain that sells them, is my new place of worship. Here, gaze upon its beauty:








The other interesting thing happened on one of my flights home. The neverending trip from Madrid to Miami. I had taken a melatonin and was in a sleep-induced fog when I looked up to see a flight attendant approaching who bore a striking resemblance to John Ashcroft. At first, I thought "well he is out of work. Maybe he's trying a new career path." But then I heard him speaking Spanish and I figured the real John Ashcroft has probably never heard Spanish, let alone is fluent in it. But wouldn't that be awesome if it had been him?

Allright, that was Greece. A big thanks again to Anne-Marie and Eph for all their hospitality and aero-bed. And to Josie for making it a super-duper-awesome trip with her mere presence.

Rome, here I come!!

Yes, it's been almost a week since I got back from Greece with no blogging but there was just so much to get through. I mean, first the ticker tape parade, and the welcome back from the mayor was one thing but wading through all those well-wishers on my way to the apartment took forever! Or, you know, I came home to an empty apartment and a cat that wouldn't let me sleep. Whatever.

So, Greece was fabulous! As was my company in Anne-Marie, Josie and yes, even Eph. And for the record Eph, it's not my life's ambition to master backgammon so there. I'm not sure how long this blog will be. There are plenty of good stories and pictures but I'm not trying to recreate The Aeneid or anything so I may break it up into two entries. Let's just see how it goes, shall we? (For another account of the week's events, visit www.partyinpangrati.blogspot.com)

DAY 1
No pictures (and thank god considering how I looked after those flights) but I got my tour of casa de Lytle and then we immediately went to dinner. Who would have guessed Greek food in Greece is a gazillion times better than Greek food in the U.S.? It came as a shock to me too, people. I think my palate was designed for Greece because they seem to love cheese as much as I do. And the feta!! My god, the feta! Nothing like that salty monstrosity you get in the grocery store. It's smooth and creamy and delicious.

DAY 2
Luckily, the Greek gods were smiling on us and the most gorgeous day that I was there was the day we picked to go to the Acropolis (something about that syntax doesn't sit right but I'm tired and you get my drift). Plus, it's free on Sundays so we were all 25 Euros richer.


Here's my first glimpse of the Acropolis from far away. From that distance, it seriously seemed fake in a very Disney kind of way.




We made our way up and I don't mean to state the obvious but it was pretty amazing. It was one of those weird times in life where what you're seeing is just as impressive as you had expected it to be.







Ah, there's the money shot.







And just to prove I was actually there:
We asked some guy to take this picture and after he did I was a total bitch and checked out the picture right in front of him to make sure it wasn't crappy. But come on, he was in a matching red jacket with his wife! I had reason to be suspicious.


Be forewarned-this story has already been told on AM's blog (that's what I get for being late) so sorry for the repetition but deal with it. As we were sitting in this exact spot, we noticed two guys taking pictures. But no, not your typical "say cheese" pictures. They were taking turns getting into these weird sex-kitten-George-Costanza-in-that-episode-where-he-gives-his-girlfriend-a-semi-dirty-picture poses. AND, they were taking off their jackets and scarves. It was freaking cold! Look at us-we're all sensibly bundled and these moron twins start taking layers off. AM surreptitiously took a picture of them and we sort of followed them as we were leaving. We come upon them again taking ridiculous pictures at the exit of the Acropolis and, naturally, AM reaches for her camera to continue our documentation of just how odd people can be. And BAM-her purse and all its contents fall into this crevice (complete with ancient cigarette butts). Luckily Josie is not only freakishly strong but also apparently Gumby, as she was able to fish everything out. However, the karmic lesson was not lost on us and in order to avoid having a several thousand-year-old piece of marble fall on our heads as punishment for continued ridicule, we left our eccentric friends in peace. But they'll always be in our hearts.

Ok, this entry is already really long and I want to go home. Not that I'm doing this from work or anything. I'll finish up later.