I've already left on a jet plane but I do know when I'll be back again. Aug. 30th. Please send all welcome home gifts after that date so I can sign for them. Thanks!

I'm currently sitting in what could be confused with heaven but is actually the British Airways lounge at Heathrow. Free food and drink (good food), free internet, comfy seats, people cleaning up after you. Maybe I will start believing in an afterlife if it'll be like this. Although, I guess that means hell is the crowded, loud, dirty main terminal. Shudder.

As most of you know, I'm on my way to meet Emma and Ime in South Africa for our excellent adventure. So there likely won't be much blogging for the next two weeks but I'll load this thing up with pictures when I get back. Should anything unexpected happen on my way there or back, that is anything besides plane go up smoothly-plane go down smoothly, I bequeath my most valuable belongings (Teddy, Marc Jacobs shoes, purses) to my favorite little poppyseed.

So far I haven't had too many interesting stories to report on travels. Everything's been fairly calm and routine. The most memorable thing I've got is the gross guy on the train between terminals at Heathrow who proceeded with the crotch scratch, nose pick, AND nail bite--in that order! If it were me, I probably would have reversed it but whatever.

Ok, I'm off to do some shopping...er, I mean read the newspaper.

Allright Trader Joe's, things between us have been going pretty well so far. I'll admit, when we first met, I was a little put off. I thought you were some organic-selling, no-name-brand-having, hippie co-op chain. But I gave you a second try and I've never looked back. And things have been going swimmingly. You keep your prices down and your shelves stocked with chocolate-covered pretzels and I overlook the Hawaiian shirt uniforms and extreme cheeriness of the checkout cashiers, who are clearly higher than Johnny Depp's cheekbones. But I've got a bone to pick with you:

What kind of thank you is this?? Those strawberries were only in my fridge for two-ish weeks. I finally start to ease up on my "no fruit as a dessert" rule and purchase your seemingly fine produce, and this is what happens?!! To paraphrase Heathers, I got paid in mold! Not cool, Trader Joe's. Not cool at all. From now on I'll stick to my Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. I know for sure neither Ben nor Jerry would ever jeopardize our relationship in such a heinous fashion. Good day sir.

I said good day!