"They're working me like a two-dollar hooker on a 99 cent special."

Sorry for the blue humor, but many moons ago, I heard Damon Wayans utter that line in a comedy special and wasn't sure I'd ever be in the position to use it. But sure enough, the last two weeks were more than deserving of the above quote. Basically, as I mentioned in a previous post, I had a ton of work to do on a tight deadline that had me coming into work two weekends in a row, staying every weeknight until 9:30, and missing a trip home where I could have had yummy catered food c/o Jennifer. I realize that's nothing a lot of you haven't already done, and it's certainly not working in a coal mine or Kabul, but it still sucked. Anywho, it actually worked out ok as yesterday I ended up getting fairly significant praise for all the work. And if I am any kind of whore at all, it's definitely a praise whore. Seriously. I'm like a trained puppy.

In other news, it has been super windy in DC lately and the other day I was walking behind this woman who got SMACKED in the face by a low hanging tree branch (luckily for her it was a small one) and then it got caught in her hair. I resisted the urge to chuckle because if My Name is Earl has taught me anything, it's that Karma has a photographic memory. And if I were to laugh at that woman's misfortune, as I walked by the very same tree it would start attacking me "Wizard of Oz" style.

According to two, independent sources, my brother looks like Ace from American Idol. What say you all??

I know I made it sound like the last metro rant was the last but so many weird things happen on public transportation that I just can't let it go. I was riding home last night and the train was about 3/4 full. All of a sudden I hear this constant metal clicking sound, recognizable to any human being as a fingernail clipper. I'm pretty sure my face morphed into a look like I'd just seen someone drop kick a puppy. Honestly, who clips their nails in public?? Just bite your fingernails like the rest of us.

Also freakish is when you see the same person on your way home that you saw as you were heading to work. It's this constant sense of deja vu. There's this particularly odd woman I always see and I remember her because she walks kind of like a giraffe. And I totally don't mean that in a bad way but she really does walk like a giraffe. She's super tall (not that there's anything wrong with that!!) and bends slightly forward at the waist and is kind of bow-legged. She's pretty hard to miss.

For those of you keeping up with news of the absurd in the entertainment world, here you go: Bobby Brown was arrested this week in Webster, GA for motor-vehicle violations dating back 14 years. After being detained for an hour, he was released on $40 bond. That's right-$40, not $400, or $4000. He's really slipping away from his badass image. Pretty soon he'll be teaching kindergarterners how to spell "prerogative."

Oh yeah, one last thing. These blogs aren't going to comment on themselves people! Get to typing.

I just got a boatload of work to do between now and next tuesday, during which I'm planning on taking 2 days off to go here:










And like any respectable procrastinator, I made my To Do list and am now wallowing in how much I have to do. I figure I'll wallow for another 10 minutes or so before actually proceeding. It's how I work people. Don't you dare judge me.

So, in the meantime I have two things to discuss/get off my chest:

First, on Tuesday I'll be participating in one of capitalism's greatest creations-the paid focus group. $85 for my opinions on music in the DC area plus snacks? Done! It was surprising, however, how lax the phone interviewer was. In the past when I've been called about a focus group, they ask you questions to see if you're right for the study and are pretty neutral about what they're looking for so it's just good luck if you fall in the right categories. When I spoke to this woman she basically told me what to say so I was like "sure, I love DC 101.1. whatever you say lady." I have no shame. I might agree with Nazi propaganda if I was assured $85. J/K!! And speaking of music, Grey's Anatomy, whether you like the show or not, has an awesome soundtrack. Every monday I go to work and download half the songs they used on the previous night's episode. I recommend you do the same if you want me to keep speaking to you.

Secondly, it's been a while since I've had a good metro rant so here goes: To all the men who ride public transportation, do us all a favor and STOP SPREADING YOUR LEGS WIDE OPEN!! I know, I know, you are strong like bull and we must all gaze upon your genital superiority but for the love of god, there is only so much physical contact with strangers I can take before wanting to stomp on your toes, and then of course run away. Because I am nothing if not a big chicken.